At first it would come on me without warning, during meditation, taking a walk, even driving the car, the seventh sense of no-sense, vacancy permeated with awareness, a global consciousness of everything happening around me, and of everything not happening around me, of no me, just the place where everything arises without friction. Then in my clinging effort to maintain this "state," it would inevitably slip away.
It is not a state, of course, because it is not transient. It is always already there: "most people confuse the now with what happens in the now, but that's not what it is. The now is deeper than what happens in it. It is the space in which it happens. So don't confuse the content of this moment with the now. The now is deeper than any content that arises in it." E.T.
This is what I am trying to express when I say that I feel substantial and insubstantial at once and without boundary.
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